2.18.09

The List

Gear: Fundamentally Unstable

From a design duo that understands "what it is like to be on the brink of implosion", this line of 100% combed ringspun cotton tees feature prints like two crossed six-shooters inside a splotchy red heart, Stalin's bust atop three skulls, and Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man rocking eight extra arms, w/ each hand flashing devil horns, aka, the last guy you want to be behind at the Queensrÿche reunion show.

Reckless rock finger action's FundamentallyUnstable.com
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Cleanliness: White Collar Grime

Featuring ten feet of garment protection, these adhesive super-soft white cotton strips from the flatulence-concealing Subtle Butt scientists can be cut to fit the inside of your collar and then pressed into place, keeping you from being embarrassed by stains -- you'll need the whole package to keep your Shakespearean ruff clean.

Arm yourself at GarmentGuard.com
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Facial Hair Gear: Beard Head

Available in four color choices, these knit caps combine the comfort and warmth of traditional winter hats with the supreme style and general awesomeness of a massive beard/mustache, while their name finds the sweet spot between amusing descriptive moniker and sickening command.

Didn't think you'd ever be excited to visit BeardHead.com
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Computers: Snapter

Allowing you to fake having a real job, Snap turns your digital camera into a scanner, auto-using perspective and curvature correction to crop, stretch, and flatten images and create PDFs resembling properly scanned docs. Send over a "photocopy" of your rear, and it'll be months before your mom gets wind of your being laid off.

Snag the free download at Atiz.com
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Celebrity Fawning: Oscar Bingo

In order to liven up the depressing prospects of watching the Academy Awards, we scoured this year's nominees to bring you a bingo table of 24 randomly generated potential telecast happenings, like unwieldy acceptance throngs, wealthy white person Obama co-opting, and Benicio Del Toro's Oprah-esque weight flux flippin' you for real.

Get your free game board right here
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Further Awesome

Further Gadgets-ness

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    PowerMat

    Changing the way you recharge your...

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    OakStreet Man

    Hatched in AZ by a "globe-trotting...

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    Shooger

    Outta Coral Gables and primarily...

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