The List
This tabletop gas cooker offers 160 square inches of grilling surface, 8,500 BTUs worth o' flame power, and a dishwasher-safe drip pan, but what sets it apart is the built-in speakers for your iPod/MP3 player, so you can answer back that it was you who let the dogs out, and then started to cook them.
Only $120 bucks for this 2-for-1 job at Meijer.com
These 100% cotton twill WASPants feature a repeat embroidery of everyone’s favorite Aqua Teen Hunger Force frat-boy extraterrestrials -- either navy w/ pink Err pattern, or an Irish green w/ Ignignokt -- and, according to the designers will "have people in the boardroom and on the golf course taking notice. And what they'll be noticing is that your high quality pants are covered with premium moon people flipping them off".
Buy these pants, and smoke while you do so, at WilliamsStreet.com
A search engine that crawls the webs for MP3s hosted by other sites, Steve makes each track available for instant play or download sans DRM restrictions (all done without logging your IP address so you don't get busted) and'll pull music, podcasts, comedy tracks, and even speeches, cause you too have a dream, and it's of ruthlessly pirating...speeches?
Get your listen and download on at SadSteve.com
Drop Amarula in Red Bull, chug, then eat gravel, making sure to get most caught in your throat. Wave finger in bartender's face, and in your new, Cookie Monster voice tell him, "Not in my bar". For extra points, order yourself a Mutombomb and your friend a LeBomb James. Take yours first, then, right before your friend takes his, slap it out of his hand and give him the finger wag. Repeat until lying on back in celebration.
To generate impossibly annoying witticisms
to plug into your social site's status bar, just click a topic in the tag cloud and you'll get back sooooo snarky gems from "...thinks that if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby", to "...is reflecting that the cost of living hasn't affected its popularity", to "...wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac", which, to make a joke, completely ignores that fact that you weren't given a choice.
