Crafting everything to be fully waterproof, H2O pimps a line of fully ergonomic headphones, as well as iPod-holding arm bands with locking bubble closures and touch-sensitive windows, letting your old man rock out to tunes while he swims or just sits in the tub by himself, because someone won't give him a spongebath.

Liquid-proof iGear at H2OAudio.com

Perfect for any study or den, these authentic-looking maps're hand-burned into ox leather using a technique called pyrography, and come in a wide range of sizes and subject locale, including antique maps of the world based on work by a 16th century Dutch cartogropher, and one of Middle Earth based on work by a 20th century nerd.

Get 'em for as low as $40, at MapsOnLeather.com

This benign-looking baseball hat has back panels filled with a material 110% denser than lead, allowing dad to use the brim as a handle when self-defending himself against vicious attacks from your mouth asking him to pull over so you can pee.

Tell your father you think he's defenseless with a gift from Knives4Wholesale.com

Crazy enough to not dig the above awesomeness? Then drop by GG and shop for your paternal one, using sliding attribute scales to hone in on his style, which'll yield appropriate picks from the Web, from a Jack Daniel's golf flask, to a personalized gallon mug of Tabasco, to a trip to Grizzly Bear Ranch, even though he keeps asking to go to that ranch filled with all those bunnies.

Find the perfect gift at GiftGenius.com