The List
This Father's Day, show Dad how far you'll go to look like you actually care with help from our Gift Guide HQ
Hot off the pants presses, these made-in-the-USA trousers confirm your raging patriotism with a white & blue American-flag star pattern on soft cotton canvas, plus red seersucker pockets and liner; they're releasing only 76 pairs, with the gents at Cordarounds asserting lucky owners'll be referred to as the Uncle Samurai, probably because they're so Akira Kurosaweeeeet.
It takes a moment to load, but your 4th of July will suck if you don't get a pair at Cordarounds.comFresh from the guys who make as-seen-in-the-movies tees, this neoprene coozy apes the design of the generic "Beer" cans in the 1984 Emilio Estevez sci-fi comedy, a gag purportedly used after real life brands refused to have their brews used in product placement, probably the same reason that Daddy Martin sent over an Estevez instead of a Sheen.
Show you like your irony frosty cold with a coozy from FoundItemClothing.comOffering personalized answers to a cache of questions ranging from what car you should buy, to what movie/tv show you should watch, to whether or not you should get your DNA sequenced, Hunch determines its suggestions based on short runs of queries, all the while learning more about you with each subsequent quiz you take -- of course, if you don't know the answer to "Am I a Weezer fan?", you'll be needing more help than just an Internet quiz.
Do it just for the quizzes at Hunch.comSince anything you actually choose will suck, get Dad an emailable uber-gift-certificate from GA, redeemable at over 300 e-tailers (Timberland, Sports Authority, EatGourmet, Ozone Billiards...), the perfect way to let him know he wasn't around enough for you to even guess what general categories of things he's into.
Prove your love for copping out at GiveAnything.comUse your keyboard to bite, stab, and tail-whip your way through this free 2D fighting game (based on the History Channel series) as one of six ferocious beasts rated for offense, defense, and speed, including T-Rex, Stegosaurus, and Utahraptor, which marries in packs.
Waste your time wantonly at History.com