Acme Made
You learned during childhood to beware of any Acme product...especially when surrounded by craggy mesas and standing next to your collection of emotive picket signs. But what if that product wasn't an enormous catapult, but rather a dope ass bag? Test your willpower, with Acme Made.
Acme's mansatchels feature silly-useful layouts backed by sturdy craftsmanship and a range of high-end fabrics selected for their Blythe Danner-like ability to look even smoking-er with age. For a casual messenger look, hit up the waterproof, "ballistic" nylon shell'd Clyde City, which comes in three solid colorways, and sports a padded internal laptop pocket, an external phone pocket, and a backside magazine pocket for your second laptop. More dressed-up options include the postal-bag-styled Courier, rocking a spacious main compartment and magnetic flap closure, and the bag-within-a-bag Metro Tote, which holds a removable laptop pouch; both come in unusual fabrics, like a "vulcanized" black canvas that feels and acts like rubber, minus the preposterous claim that it came from a tree.
For a simple computer conveyance, style up with the new Soft Sleeve, avail in designs like "Massive Paisley" and the large black n' brown "Gradual Squares", and rocking a quilted satin "tuxedo" lining, lending dignity and hopefully softening the blow when you hilariously faceplant on a curb.

