The nominees for LR's annual Bad Sex In Fiction Award boast prose from John Banville (who equates the taste of a kiss with the "tang of fish-slime and sawdust"), Philip Roth (keeping it weird with "as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask"), and Richard Milward, who was robbed of the top prize despite an excerpt notable for its mention of sweaters, the characters Mr. Penis and Mr. Condom, and "Vaginaland" -- more exciting than Candyland, due to it's many chutes.

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