Recreo Layoff Layback
Vacations are typically taken to escape the monotony of work, but what if your job decides to take a permanent vacation from the monotony of you? Stepping up to fill the jobless void, Recreo's Layoff Layback.
Conceived after noticing that newly jobless jackholes were "counter-intuitively" deciding to blow their giant jars of quarters on getaways, Costa Rica resort Recreo's offering free nights to anyone who can prove they were recently laid off via written documentation...or pathetic phone sobbing (not really, you need the pink slip, but they will totally laugh at you). Every block of four nights booked at one of Rec's all-inclusive, pimpedly private villas (min two guests) will nab you a comped night (and five nights gets you two gratis evenings), which you can wile away gazing across the compound's 70 acres of tropical mountainside whilst floating in your private pool, imagining you rule all you survey even as the repo man pulls your neon Natty Ice sign off the wall back home. The already-reduced $149 nightly rate covers it all: food whipped up by a personal chef, booze, laundry service, a fitness center, and leisure activities like kayaking, tennis, mountain biking, private beach access, boat rides, and golf carts, which, given the lack of a golf course, are expressly for ramming into each other while hammered.
To get yourself primed for those carts, hit the Mountain Top Cantina, an on-site bar featuring 360 degree views and 100% free alcohol, because the only way to enhance the heavenly monotony of a tropical villa is by getting drunk enough to forget you have to go home and get a freaking job.
