Sound Egg

A top-notch surround sound system can seriously improve your movie-watching, but it'll also infuriate neighbors who apparently hate Bill Pullman's Independence Day speech, and everything else good and pure and profoundly American. Get a self-contained audio setup without the neighborly death threats, with a Sound Egg

Engineered by a company that crafts communications equipment for the Department of Defense, and originally only intended for demo purposes at trade shows, the Egg's a 21st-Century version of the ubiquitous 1960s/Mork & Mindy-era "egg chair", now outfitted as a 5.1 Dolby Digital cocoon that'll provide an aggressively pleasurable media experience, unless you're watching Cocoon. The rig's equipped with five studio-quality speakers set inside the shell interior, plus a 10-inch subwoofer under the plastic seat, and its inside's clad in sound-dampening acoustic foam for a movie theater-quality audio -- providing isolation on par with wearing a top-end pair of headphones, although making it much more of a production to get hit by a bus while using it. Setting it up's simple: the back of the chair's got a full set of super-high-quality gold-plated jacks that'll connect to both stereo or 5.1 receivers depending on your application, plus it's equipped for computer and game console hook-up, for the most intense gaming since you lost all your Madden buddies because you've been hanging out in an egg chair all day

Because it'd be downright embarrassing if your egg didn't match everything else in your pad, you can order it up in a whole slew of shell/foam colors, and on top of that, delivery is completely free -- also what America is, thanks mainly to the efforts of Lone Star.