If you Twitter so much it's preventing enjoyment of real life, this SF-based "social networking guru" -- aka Twitterboy -- will Tweet for you, placing you in "awesome locations/situations, saying genuinely interesting and thought-provoking things". To get rolling, just send him your interests/reasons for being on Twitter, and pick from plans ranging from three Tweets for $1.99 to 30 bucks for a full profile takeover, which'll free up the time you need to find a capable Facebooklad.

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Sample Tweets and customer testimonials at IAmTwitterboy.com