The Open Table for your body has just expanded from dentists to docs. Enter your insurance provider and zip, and ZD'll spit back available primary-care MDs, open appointments, and ratings from previous patients, plus confirm your appointment via e-mail -- convenient unless marked as spam, in which case you're totally dying of rabies.

Sched appointments at ZocDoc.com

Start your 'stache now to compete in this annual whisker-thon, which rewards entrants in five categories: Best in Show, Molester 'Stache, Novelty 'Stache, Dad 'Stache, and the pity-prize Sh*tty 'Stache -- "for growth achievement in spite of poor genes".

Check the rules/photos/videos at ElDiaDelMustache.com

To make room for spring inventory and to celebrate their e-commerce launch, this LES boutique's offering in-store-only discounts of up to 80% off labels like Edoc Laundry, Montana Knox, and Gsus Sindustries, who are willing to risk eternal damnation for a tepid pun.

Check the threads at EmeraldRoseBoutique.com

An amusingly forlorn rejoinder to smug wedding announcements, this Brooklyn-based site posts reader-submitted break-up tales, ranging from the enraged ("lying, alcoholic, slut") to the opportunistic ("We did like each other. Then we didn't anymore. Now we plan three-ways."). Wow. However do you cope?

Get no love at RelationshipObit.com