New York

3.12.08

The List

Gear/Drink: Playboy Tees and Free Drinks

6-9pm tonight at Bloomingdale's: 1000 3rd Ave, at 59th Street; 212.705.2000

A blessed pairing of rockers and knockers, this party's celebrating the debut of eight Playboy logo tees custom designed by the likes of Daft Punk, Iggy Pop, and Hot Chip. Also available: Free Chivas Regal cocktails, plus photo ops with Lindsey Vuolo, a.k.a., Miss November 2001 -- a time when our nation most needed heroes.

###Peep the most voluptuous tees ever###2601popupa.jpg###
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Food/Drink: Mercury Dime

246 E 5th St, between Bowery and 2nd; 212.533.3295

From the Milk & Honey don and a former Picholine fromager, this tiny, wi-fi'd coffee bar's serving gourmet caffeine sourced via Queens, fresh juice, and (coming soon) made-to-order sandwiches and small plates. They'll soon open a cozier 2nd floor w/ working fireplace -- accidentally plunge your hand into the coals to reveal that your secret identity is not Superman.

###Check the menu###2601popupb.jpg###
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Service: Billiardsburg

This comprehensive map of be-tabled bars provides both photos and an anal level of detail, including table cost/size/condition, plus cue condition, space, and lighting. The reviews are similarly obsessive: "The last two times we visited the Brooklyn Ale House, the table was eating balls and was not in a playable condition. Mmm, eating balls..." Mmm, but check out the site anyway.

Find a new pool spot at Billiardsburg.com
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Gear: Dots Gloves

Too skin-crackingly cold to remove your gloves for easy touch-screen manipulation? These NYC-made hand sheaths're equipped with conductivity-enhancing metal studs: 3 dots for iPhones (thumb, index, middle) and 1 dot for iPods -- thumb only, tipping hitchhiker-friendly truckers to the fact you'll be a lousy conversationalist, so they might as well get right down to raping you.

Keep efficiently warm at DotsGloves.com
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Culture: 15 Point Guide to Peeing

This handy tinkler's companion enumerates ways to surreptitiously pee in public (e.g., Tip #7: Lie on Your Side). The book's a winnowing down of 2005's The 40 Point Guide to Peeing in NYC -- though for succinctness, nothing can approach The 1 Point Guide to Peeing in a Toilet.

Only $4.99 at BlueQ.com
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Further Awesome

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