Hit this bespoke clothier's NoLita boutique for gratis top-shelf scotch, tequila, and vino, plus 10% off any item in the store, be it ready-to-wear (cashmere shirts from Abaton, Sew-designed 7-fold ties) or bespoke action like button-downs, jackets, and suits -- blame your tittering during inseam measurement on "lowered inhibitions".

A Craigslist for the Nantucket-red everyman, this social network lists needed/wanted ride shares and accommodations ("pick up from the Hampton Bays stop", "weekend aboard catamaran"), services (catering, photogs, etc), and event listings (outdoor concert series, house parties, etc). For more elaborate needs, fill out a request form and HU'll hook you up w/ the Hamptons Angels -- a hot-chick-run concierge service that will get you reservations, then go kill a guy at Altamont.

Get the hook up at HamptonsUndercover.com

These NY-based tees brandish sometimes discomfiting globo-political humor, e.g., "Uncle Kim wants you for North Korea" (Jong-Il as Uncle Sam), "Babies are the new Chihuahuas" (Paris and Nicole cradling toddlers), and a Chinese athlete crippled by human rights abuses dubbed "Growing Pains" (Alan Thicke deprivation breaks even the proudest man).

Buy online at Hoodman.tv

Manhattan's airport ride-sharing site now hooks up similarly frugal BK outbounders. Just input apropos deets (departure time, hood), contact info and, optionally, preference of male or female co-rider (she'll surely enjoy getting hit on by a dude too cheap to pay for a whole cab).

Find a cheap ride at brooklyn.hitchsters.com

If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, then how the hell are you supposed to find out about its dress-down, rock-n-roll strip club or resident super-pious hooker? You won't, you poor bastard.

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