SB's museum-worthy furniture might be budget-busting, but their grand opening's a freeloader's dream: 2hrs of open vodka bar at the gallery, followed by 2hrs of free passed food at the nearby showroom. Despite having no intention to buy, your presence'll serve as an important reminder that fanciful aesthetics can't diminish furniture's original purpose: to trip over while drunk.

The anything-goes, dogsled-style shopping cart race is back and more idiotic than ever. Race time/location will be posted online 24hrs before the start, and registration ends tomorrow at 11:59pm -- so get your costumed team of five together today, then hit yourself on the head with a hammer.

If you're tired of seeing saucy men-about-town sporting Levis' new high-end Skinner jeans (~$180), trump them with Levis Atmos X: the $330 product of a a limited-edition collaboration with a Japanese design firm, they're custom cut from premium selvage, and are available only at Atmos' Harlem store. Two styles are available: the classic "Golden Footprint" and the more flamboyant "Stars" -- only advisable if you want to date saucy men-about-town.

Too broke from jeans to afford a Wii? Well, for about the price of a Wii, you can now play someone else's for a day by staying at the 'voort and checking out a console from the front desk. If bargains like this came along every day...you'd be completely penniless.