Serving Neapolitan-style pies and calzones baked by a former Martha Stewart Show pastrymaker, Anselmo's is a modest, brick-walled pizzeria w/ vintage trappings (fading Coca-Cola signs, decorative 1929 iron coal stove) and boasting one of Brooklyn's rare coal-fired 'za ovens -- burning at 700 degrees, they take less than three minutes to dispatch unbaked foodstuffs, and any evidence of insider trading.

A bleary attempt at breaking the Guinness World Record for largest pub crawl, this challenge spans three days and includes over 100 bars (from midtown's Van Diemens, to EV's Village Pourhouse, to uptown's The Big Easy) pouring $4 Jameson, $3 wells, $2 Bud Light bottles, and $1 Bud Light draughts -- all culminating in $0 worth of self respect.

Thrillist binge drinkers get $5 off at SaintPattys.com/thrillist/

Hand-stitched by two morbidly crafty Strong Island chicks, these fleece scarves take cues from that most fashionable of inspirations, roadkill: squirrels, raccoons, possums, etc, all boasting cartoonish x-eyes, tread marks, and extended tongues, intended for the guy standing next to you feeling penis-less in literally any other scarf ever made.

These gals do custom work, too. Buy at Etsy.com

The downtown, dive-y outpost of the UES beer pongeria sports four backroom pong tables, flat-screened banquettes, and a lone Silver Strike Bowling arcade game (saddle bar stools, western wall murals, other cowboy stuff to come), all of which you can ignore while guzzling $12-$14 domestic pitchers. Shortly, they'll open a more dignified upstairs lounge with separate entrance, a dais for private events/small acts, and retractable windows opening onto a smoker's balcony -- where your fumes won't hinder the conditioning of athletes blowing on balls below.

Aces & Eights serves 2-for-1 from 5-8pm weekdays