New York

Actually created for school credit, this borough-spanning GMap reveals hot nut vendors who also sell ganja. Click to reveal savant-like dealer descrips, and marvel at the nepotism of Olatunde's Nuts ("sometimes his cousin or some thing is there instead...and he charges to much and always is drinking capri sun which is stupid"), the cosmopolitanism of South Ferry ("jermaine said he bought from some nigerian dude here why they always nigerian??"), and the sweet buds and dulcet tones of McCarren Park ("yo this guy sold hot dogs not nuts but mr dimalo said i have got to have 10 and any way he sold us pot in the summer when some dudes were playing keyboards").

From a NY ad-gal cum entrepreneur, Solvate provides tech-savvy, U.S.-based, online-only minions competent in all manner of admin & tech assistance (writing correspondence, optimizing your cable/internet/iPhone bills, researching software purchases, etc) with rates starting at a measly $20/hr, though for small tasks they'll prorate that into 5-minute chunks -- providing all the convenience of a personal secretary, with all the ephemeral thrill of a peep show booth.

Proffered by NY-based designers with the slogan "It's OK to cry", these 100% linen hankies come embroidered with a red line depicting the steady rise and precipitous fall of the Dow since 2004. Also available for $89: Customized hankies depicting your personal portfolio -- for the thrilling rush that is blowing your cash on blowing your cash.

Conceived by an NYC mechanical engineer and tested by heroic nerds at MIT Aeronautics and Astronautics to withstand a 60mph gale, this ultra-huge rain & pigeon poop shield sports all-fiberglass construction, two vented canopies to channel wind and, in the shaft handle, a hidden steel spike -- drive it into moist turf to protect golf balls & prop clubs, or into the face of pedestrians rightly scolding you for having such a damn big umbrella.

This GMap displays the approximate hood where NY-based sitcoms are ostensibly set, including 13 in Manhattan (Odd Couple in midtown, Spin City downtown, etc), five in Brooklyn (Cosby Show in Brooklyn Heights, Everybody Hates Chris in Bed-Stuy), and three in Queens (Astoria's All in the Family, Rego Park's King of Queens), but zero in The Bronx or Staten Island -- because it's only sitcoms, so Cop Chef doesn't count.