Own Coto

While hippies can be extraordinarily talented, they generally craft products incompatible with adulthood -- like Bodhisattva-shaped bongs, and mad colorful hacky sacks, and sh*t, how about those bongs, right? Harnessing their ill industry for the nine-to-five, Coto.

From two Burton vets inspired by a year-long South Pacific surfing tour, NY-based Coto sells debonair ties and cufflinks sourced from all-natural, chemically-untreated materials -- what Pierce Brosnan might wear to a Widespread Panic show. Handsewn Euro silk and wool neckwear comes in solid and patterned styles (striped & "micro-plaid"), all available in two skinny varietals: traditional pointy-ended, and not-so-traditional round-ended (for fans of badonka-tie). Meanwhile, wrist-fasteners sport sterling silver centerpieces and buttons sourced from woodland materials, e.g., the "Horny" (crafted from "fallen rack" antlers), the "Fly" (blunt tip feathered fishing lures handmade by Boise anglers), and "Nut Links" -- made from South American corozos, though you can claim they're trophies your enemies will miss sorely.

Soon, Coto will expand to offer work-casual button-downs and pants, dressing you up for that ultimate adult proving ground, the project management drum circle.