Dirtiest Apartment Contest

With most competitions, becoming the best is all about everything coming together, from genetics, to training, to luck, to finding a blackjack-wielding goon willing to help you make up for shortcomings in genetics, training, and luck. Finally, a competition for those who excel at things falling apart: The Dirtiest Apartment Contest.

Hatched by a Rochester Institute of Technology grad, the DAC's a HotOrNot for fetid living quarters, with the most depressingly chaotic pad winning $1000, which is nothing to shake a moldering hoagie at. To compete, simply upload 1-4 pics of a current or former hellhole, explain why you're so disgusting, then wait for the votes to roll in; or, if you're unprofitably clean, simply get behind one of the impressive slate of contestants, including Dusty in Thousand Oaks (obese cat luxuriating on unpaid bills), cheukiecfu in Seattle (overflowing garbage can, festering watermelon rinds), and current high-vote JesseB in Charlotte, whose existential devastation (unhinged car door, shirtless guy sitting cross-legged eating beans from can while reading huge textbook) has transcended into performance art. The comment section, open to voters and contestants, is also a delight, from the bizarre explanations ("Actually that mop ended up in the tree outside my balcony for a few months until a tragic gust of wind changed everything"), to the expressions of bewilderment ("who uses VHS anymore?"), to the unflagging support ("the comments questioning the validity of your mess is a testament to how much of a dirty pig you are, take pride my friend!").

The ten apartments with the most votes by July 15th move to the final round, where voting recommences and the three dirtiest apartments win $1000, $500, and $250 -- enough to help you excel at treating those rat bites.