Spaloo

You spend half your life in bed or in the bathroom. If you already have a comfortable mattress, it's time to get yourself a luxurious throne. Try Spaloo: a high-tech replacement toilet seat that takes the place of the plastic horseshoe you typically spend your morning on.

Spaloo comes armed with a Jetsons-esque, side-mounted panel, which controls the following features:

Temp-Adjustable Heated Seat: Your plan to read more this winter just got realistic.

Twin Heated Rinse Jets: "Apres le deuce, le deluge." The rear jet will blast you 'til your backside gleams. The front jet's designed for women, but don't let that stop you.

Temp-Adjustable Air Dry: A nice gesture, but to completely air-dry, you'd need about five minutes -- so keep some Charmin handy if you're working against the clock.

The 'loo's not perfect: the power cord's short, and requires a three-pronged outlet. It's not cheap either, though the deal we've worked with the retailer* should lessen the sting. That said, you blow cash on far less useful purchases all the time. The real question's whether to buy now, or wait for the next generation and the possibility of even more spa-style features -- like a robotic hand that places a refreshing cucumber slice directly onto your (brown) eye.
*$50 off if you use the promo code "Thrillist"