From the smoke-choked Keno dens to the fetid pawnbrokers' anterooms, AC's a lovely place to visit. For sanctuary from all that loveliness, try Water Club.

Developed by the Borgata, the Club's an aquatic-themed, non-gaming Shangri-La: 43 stories w/ 800 rooms (floor-to-ceiling windows, 40" flat screens, iPod docks, etc) and five pools: one 25-yard lap, two indoor heated, and two outdoors, all with infinity edges and expansive views of AC and what lies beyond (reclaiming your humanity?). The Asian-inspired spa's similarly ridiculous: a two-story, 36,000sq ft, green-marbled complex offering 180-degree ocean views, full gym, plus 16 sauna and massage "experience rooms" -- which will allow you to answer Jimi with "Yes, and the Balinese massage was dope". Water also has you for eats, with in-room, poolside, and spa dining menus prepared by the chef behind lauded restos Town and Country: Geoffrey Zakarian, who according to New York Magazine was one of 2005's "most beautiful New Yorkers". So there's that.

Water opens in June, but you can make reservations starting today -- so hurry up and get down there, because your Rolex won't stay in hock forever.