No matter how well planned, your next Vegas bachelor party will cost thousands a man, not including gambling, prostitutes, and strippers who later reveal themselves to be prostitutes. Instead, why not turn a few tricks yourself, so you can afford to stay at Nygard Cay.

A fifty-million-dollar, 10-bedroom beachfront villa in New Providencia, Bahamas, Nygard's loaded with the kinds of amenities that make Robb Report readers softly moan as they stroke their mother-of-pearl-inlaid mahogany tea caddies. The basic package is 4 days/3 nights, all booze and food included, and features these minor luxuries:

• Staff of 20
• In-house spa w/ two masseuses
• In-house disco w/ 100-person dance floor and a 40ft "Human Aquarium" wall
• 24-seat movie theater
• 2 chauffeur-driven Hummers
• 48' fishing vessel, a flotilla of Sea-Doos, an 82ft yacht, and two powerboats (for crashing into each other)
• 2 pools and 5 Jacuzzis
• Tennis/volleyball/basketball courts
• Your very own Bahamian Junkanoo band, for free! (Only slightly cheaper than renting the preeminent Bahamian Junkanoo band)

Assuming you'll still want to gamble, you're also only a twenty minute drive from the Atlantis casino -- a prime opportunity to either pay for this epic long weekend, or take your man-whoring international.

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If you're gonna do this, email John Greer today; next year, prices'll go up, as they're installing shark tanks. For serious.