Nation

While touchdown and yardage leaders are somewhat predictable, it's nearly impossible to forecast which athlete'll have his dogfighting empire uncovered/pack 200lbs of chiba in his door panels. Try your hand at drafting a team of elite scumbags with Dirtlocker.

A new alternative fantasy sports site, DL tracks whoever's being written about, and awards him a point for each mention. Granted, this could lead to some dull stuff ("Pats Sign Receiver, Belichick Wears Sweatshirt"), but DL wisely lets you choose your sources -- so you can include only those blogs that cover the important things: drunken follies, jersey-chaser-grinding sessions, and all manner of arrests, including nautical. As with any draft, there'll be debates over #1 picks, i.e., can Brady Quinn's profound sleevelessness outperform the grotesquely twisted Manning Face (either one). But the real skill's in unearthing the next Kyle Orton, the Bears "quarterback" whose public drunkenness and unfortunate grooming decisions mandated blanket coverage and a dedicated site: ShaveKyleOrtonsNeckBeard.com.

Of course, bad behavior's not seasonal, and some things in sports possible to forecast: you can count on Tiger Woods being a mockable dork, but despite her constant Net presence, you cannot draft his wife for being hot.