1. You've been set up. The least you can do is:
A. not wear sweats (24%)
B. not leer at other women (33%)

C. not hit the bathroom when the bill arrives (17%)

D. not show up with a different woman, citing an unavoidable scheduling conflict (26%)

2. Your primary concern when choosing a date spot is:
A. bang for your buck (38%)
B. proximity to your apartment (34%)
C. length of tablecloths (6%)
D. likelihood that your girlfriend will walk in and ruin everything (22%)

Interesting fact: almost a quarter of you are cheating on your girlfriends.

3. When ordering the wine, your first thought is:
A. "fish or meat?" (37%)
B. "what's the second cheapest?" (44%)
C. "which one best combines robust bouquet with mellow tannins?" (10%)
D. "will it sting when it's thrown in my face?" (10%)

Note: Sutter Home can cause temporary blindness.

4. Drinking should be limited to:
A. one more than she's having (30%)
B. one short of torpedoing sexual performance (55%)
C. one past torpedoing sexual performance (10%)
D. sparkling water: alcohol lowers inhibitions and you don't want to rush into things. You've been hurt before (5%)

So our readership is 95% alcoholics, 5% bedwetting mama's boys.

5. If you spend __ on your date, intercourse is a given.
A. $50 (16%)
B. $75 (46%)
C. $0.75 (9%)
D. rates vary from one escort service to the next (28%)

6. The best dates are the ones that end with:
A. a deep and nuanced understanding of her views (15%)
B. a deep and nuanced understanding of her butt (39%)
C. only a slight fear of pregnancy (37%)
D. escaping her apartment with a stack of DVDs (9%)

If she's got the Criterion Collection edition of Tango & Cash, the correct answer was D.

7. On average, how long will you wait for things to "get physical"?
A. one date (20%)
B. two dates (56%)
C. through the appetizers (20%)
D. until you know she's the one (5%)

"Until you know she's the one" garnered 5%, confirming our findings from question #4.

8. Once you seal the deal, her chances of seeing you again are:
A. far better (51%)
B. far worse (22%)
C. nonexistent (8%)
D. determined by your ability to blend into the shadows (18%)

Girls, it's official: Your mothers lied to you. If you want men to respect you, sleep with them post-haste.

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