When you're inevitably queried about your interests, nothing can push you into a pit of punishing introspection like realizing "hanging out" and "drinking" are the best you've got. Pick up a ballsier hobby, at Dirt Bike School.

DBS is a Honda-endorsed basics program sitting on five acres that encompass California's five major ecosystems: chaparral, grasslands, woodlands, desert, and "riparian" (or wetlands, if you're not a science jerk). Days begin at an un-badass 8am, when DBS gives you and up to 7 friends the full treatment (helmets, motorcross pants, chest protector, etc), then schools you on the CRF 230 -- enough power to thrill novices, with suspension pliant enough to soothe a hemorrhoidal old man. Once familiar, you'll learn the basics, then move on to counterbalancing, cornering, and riding over obstacles, culminating in a group trail ride -- wipe out, and those behind you will get an impromptu refresher on riding over obstacles.

January-March is DBS' busy season, so try to book 2-3 weeks in advance -- the exact interval needed to bounce back from the realization that hanging out and drinking are the same thing.