Derringer Cycles
From maintaining good health to saving the environment, the benefits of biking are manifold -- the only thing stopping you from taking advantage is all that biking. Stay lazy: Derringer Cycles, just now open.
Sold at cost by the man who invented the color "Jay-Z Blue" (seriously, look it up), Derringers are Pee-Wee-influenced hybrids equipped with both pedals and a Honda 4-stroke, perfect for those times when you wish you had a 4-stroke and no pedals. Each bike takes a month to build by hand, and is styled up with a hand-hammered leather saddle embossed w/ 22k gold and silver leaf, and a gas-cap custom engraved with your monogram -- like a bath towel that'll whisk you to Jack in the Box. As for performance, top speed's 30mph, and you'll get a 300mile range from the 1.8-gallon tank (remove the decimal, and you've got an SUV).
To go with your hog, Derringer's also selling t-shirts, bags, and DOT-compliant, old-school-looking, hand-painted helmets -- a measure whose benefits are manifold, from protecting your head, to making people confuse you for Jay-Z.
