Cafe HAPA Yup

Are you tired of stupid places that feature food servers not wearing bikinis? Well, of course you are, you're human, and as one of said humans, you will appreciate Cafe HAPA, SD's first "bikini cafe", dreamed up by two of SD funnyman Dat Phan's nephews. Named for the not-exactly-nice Hawaiian term for mixed-race Asians, and plopped into a cozy little spot just a couple of doors down from BGR, CH is stocked with games like Connect Four, Jenga & cards to play while sneaking peeks at boobies, two TVs on the wall to pretend to watch when caught sneaking peeks at boobies, and brightly lit walls that keep the atmosphere spartan, presumably so the girls don't feel awkward dressing like them.

Get Caught Staring While Drinking:
Girls in bikinis (they've got 'em!) will get you jazzed with condensed milk-loaded Vietnamese Coffee or Iced Tea, a fresh coconut “drink” with chunks of the real thing, and a tangy aloe number that they'll happily mix with lemonade for an Aloe Palmer, also what Arnold's wife runs around yelling after a particularly sunny day on the course.

Get Caught Staring While Eating:
Because eating in front of scantily clad girls makes you nervous, they're only rocking chicken or pork banh mis served with just-cut jalapenos, and ice cream sandwiches made with fresh baked cookies... really, what more could you want? Oh, girls in bikinis? Yeah, they have those too.