Tentsile A hammock and a tent make sweet, sweet love

Camping in the UK can be fraught with danger… of total boredom! Shaking things up where you sleep: Tentsile, a Brit-born tent-hammock hybrid that uses "tension forces" to suspend its pyramidal form high up in the tree canopy with the monkeys, macaws, and other m-animals we don't have. Made from waterproof, insect-mesh fabric with built-in windows & internal partitions, it comes in sizes from the smallish two-man to a huge eight-sleeper with "space for a double bed" in the centre, leaving only mood lighting, a little light jazz, and a thermos of White Lightning to really set the mood.

Why this thing is more than just a novelty:

• No more worrying about uneven ground, rainwater, or dense foliage, except the stuff that'll sprout, or more horrifyingly, not sprout on your rugged outdoors-face
• If you camp in the not-UK, it'll protect you from snakes, bears, and the emasculating locals who were practically leering at your girlfriend's womb back at the general store
• The ground is a natural heat sink; elevation = warmth
• You can now spend your hammock money on more beans for supper
• "If the Tentsile is a rockin', don't come a pokin' with a long stick from below!"

There's also a tri-pronged stand in development that'll plant itself firmly into the ground & suspend your tammock above it, for use in tree-less places like the slopes or beach, where, hirsute body bared, the monkey is you.