Brewbicle Aging: apparently it's not just for wine and Billy Crystal

They say that with age comes wisdom, which can't be accurate, because you're old, and don't know that you should age certain beers. Luckily for you, a pair of local suds-thusiasts have just invented the Brewbicle, and want you to know the following facts about aging so you buy their product can enjoy the bliss of a mature beer:

• Almost anything that's bottle-conditioned (has active yeast present in the bottle) and is greater than 8% ABV is a good candidate to age, though the Brewbicle boys personally recommend sour/ wild ales, imperial stouts, lambics, and barleywine.
• Beers can be productively aged (ie. their flavor profile continues to develop) for up to 20yrs, so buy your son a nice bottle on his first birthday and cross your fingers he's cool enough to enjoy it with when he's legal.
• Since beer's got shloads more ingredients than wine, aging it will actually alter the flavor more.
• When your son's 21 in the year 2032, the word "shloads" will have totally caught on, and you'll be thankful you were on it first.
• The boozy-ness in high-ABVs masks some flavors when the beers are fresh. It recedes as "hops and other adjuncts diminish" over time, and certain notes (especially dark fruits, bittersweet chocolate, vanilla, tobacco, leather, bourbon, and sherry) become way more pronounced.
• Aging crap or light beer doesn't work: the ingredients will just break down, and you'll soon follow after realizing you've waited years for something that sucks.

As for the how part, the portable cubby that is Brewbicle provides the necessary UV-free environment, and securely stores 12oz, 16oz, or 750ml bottles upright, which helps them avoid oxidation. So just close the lid, place in a mildly tempered environment, and in a few years, you'll be able to enjoy slowly drinking away all that wisdom you've accumulated.