Green Dot Stables Throwing more sliders at you than Rick Porcello

You'd have to be lame to not race over to Green Dot Stables, a new slider-slinging wonderland that took over the old joint of the same name, carried over/enhanced most of the stable-/track-related decor (e.g., a bar covered in tons of racing tickets... there’s totally an unclaimed winner in there! Definitely look closely to find it!), sadly dropped the old policy of covertly/illegally serving until 5a, and installed a delicious menu on which nothing's more than $3.

Because they’re so cheap, you should order at least 1000 each of sliders like the Korean w/ peanut butter & kimchi, cornmeal-encrusted catfish w/ tartar, au poivre (cognac aioli-topped beef w/ peppercorns), or chef's choice of stuff like braised rabbit, tongue, or elk for the rotating “mystery meat”, which will presumably be solved by the Hearty Boys.

Because man can't live on sliders alone, unless that man is a gigantic fan of Jerry O’Connell/the fat guy with the beard, there’s also venison-topped chili cheese fries & poutine, plus vegetarian/vegan options that miraculously don’t suck, including truffle & herb fries, and mac ‘n cheese with parm & mornay sauce.

Once the liquor license gets all cinched up in the next couple weeks, you'll be able to celebrate with race-ready mint juleps, jalapeno martinis, or seasonal drafts like Bell's, Short's, Dragonmead Final Absolution, or Arrogant Bastard, though drink too much, and ironically, you'll be the one who's got a limp.