What Michelangelo would have used if the Ninja Turtles had more than just pizza at their parties, Canchucks -- half-nunchucks/ half-beer weapons of Bass destruction that you assemble yourself -- were conceived by a Rentz, GA-based motion graphics designer, who for legal reasons insists that you don't try using these as actual weapons in a fight, so now that that's out there, definitely use these as actual weapons in a fight.
What You Get: Each kit comes with an assembly guide and video instructions, plus 13 metal parts such as chain links, washers, and nuts, which is also where you should hit people with these things, because it will be hilarious.
What You'll Need: Again, because of legal bs, you supply your favorite brand of can (so, Red Dog), then hit the hardware store for masking tape and can-filling expansion foam. Also make sure you have needle-nose pliers and a Phillips head, which brings up a good point: if you know a guy named Phillip, you should hit him in the head with these, after hitting him in the nuts.
Assembly: Punch a hole in the bottom of both cans, cover ‘em with the tape, and spray the foam inside while they're upside-down. Wait for the foam to dry, then just screw in the metal loop, connect the chain, and never have to worry about getting Splinters from your nunchucks ever again.