Firefly Music Festival Like a Chuck E. Cheese, but with way better bands

Because trying to get all the way to Bonnaroo last year left you naked & hallucinating in some backwoods town (wait, that was Bonnaroo??), it's time you checked out the oh-so-much-closer Firefly: the East Coast's biggest/newest music fest ready to occupy Dover's Woodlands for a weekend this summer, and give you a place to camp, drink beer, play skeeball, and rock out to a genre-spanning list of bands. Interested? No? Too bad, we're going to break it down anyway:

The Music: Arguably why you're there, you'll gawk at four stages' worth of headliners like The Killers, The Black Keys, Jack White, Cake & Lupe Fiasco, plus a de-Zooey'd Death Cab and smaller acts like Afro-beat/disco house band Reptar, thousand-lake folkers Trampled by Turtles, and ever-eclectic Penguin Prison, aka where you kind of wish Batman left Danny DeVito.

The Activities: Aside-from-tunes-fun'll include an arcade stuffed full of pinball machines, skee & foos, hot air balloons that'll escort you to the clouds where you can watch OK GO and Girl Talk from on high, and an interactive art gallery where you, and everyone else, will paint & scribble penises meaningful imagery of the festival and its environmentally conscious messages environmentally conscious penises on rustic oak windows.

The Camping: While you can reserve a swath of land that'll support a car, a four-person tent, and such amenities as nominal-fee showers and cell phone charging stations, opt instead for glamping (glamour camping!), which includes a luxury safari tent w/ a real queen bed and outdoor furniture, plus access to the glamping lounge, with a breakfast buffet, bar, and A/C -- which basketball fans will tell you is Green-er than you might think.

To keep you hydrated and fed, there'll be a beer tent (aka "The Brewery") full of the region's best drafts, plus a slew of restaurant popups that're still a secret -- so, no matter how curious/naked/hallucinating you are, you're just going to have to wait and (Tennes)see.