Since nobody wants to get a $1000 fine when hitting the Cracker Barrel in Forest Park, cinch your Bugle Boys up with customizable/charitable/very snazzy pants-tightening straps from C4 Belts, which an ATL-raised dude started, and whose name stands for "Choose Your Color. Choose Your Cause", one of which can hopefully be "Choose Your Own Adventure books... for all homeless people".
Nicely ask John Basedow to get you down to a 38in waist or under, then use their sweet product visualizer to get a look at how mixing and matching 20 bold colors (neon yellow, olive green, sky blue, etc) for both the opaque TPE plastic belt and translucent buckle will allow you to create over 400 combos, which John Basedow will not be happy to find out you ate this past weekend.
Once you've settled on your style, select which of four pre-set organizations to get 10% of the profits, including Boys & Girls Clubs of America, the American Cancer Society, poverty-attacking association Kiva, and Project Kaisei, which aims to keep the oceans clean -- and if you would like to as well, turn to page 42... oh, no, oil tanker crash!!! Hurry, flip back before you lose your page.