So, turns out that giant spaceship where the Orange Bowl used to be isn't a spaceship at all. It's 8000 tons of retractable-roofed stadium, which today officially became home to the Marlins. Because they eat more than just Cracker Jack on baseball spaceships, the food offerings are as next-level as the confines, so here's a guideline for a culinary journey you simply must undertake, assuming Heath Bell hasn't eaten everything by the time you get there.
Stop One: Miami Mex, Club Level, Section 4
Ice cream sundaes in tiny helmets are awesome, but only make you kinda fat, which's why Mex loaded a full-size one quite literally to the brim with housemade chipotle cheese sauce, jalapenos, sour cream, and pico-smothered tortilla chips.
Stop Two: Metro Grill, Club Level, Section 5 and Section 202
Right next door, find the Lime n' Lobster Roll w/ Key lime aioli, plus the absurdly meaty Steak and Wedge sando complete w/ massive cuts of tenderloin, applewood bacon, fried caramelized onions, and
Luke Skywalker's pilot buddy blue cheese.
Stop Three: Burger 305, Club Level and General Concessions, Sections 13/19/40/310/321
Employing 305's "signature blend" of short rib, brisket, and chuck, Double Plays are both hopefully still turned effectively by Reyes, and also topped w/ Homestead tomatoes & American. There's also an herb-crusted, locally caught Gulf Shrimp burg.
Stop Four: Taste of Miami (Papo Llega Y Pon, Don Camaron, Latin American Grill), Promenade Level, Near Section 28
This flavor trio delivers pan con lechon, ham croquettas, and media noches, plus fresh-caught ceviche and a serious lineup of oysters that you should share with your buddies, so as not to be too shellfish.
Stop Five: The Clevelander, Behind Left Field, Ground Level
Hit the pool at bikini-friendly Cleve post-game (or during, if your tix are baller enough), then down a half-pound, bacon-wrapped Magnum dog, plus frozen drinks like the Miami Vice, which's half colada/half Rum Runner, something Heath Bell will never be considered, even if he's had a lot of rum.
Published: April 4, 2012 at 4:00am EDT
501 Marlins Way
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