Burger and Friends Now served from Austin

Sardonic shirtsmiths Burger and Friends have relocated from Dallas to the ATX, unleashing a new cache of hi-larious wearables that will either induce random chicks to talk to you, or be a total conversation killer, something that's far less charismatic when not in a Tarantino film.

The pun-ishment comes splayed across super-soft cotton tees, sweatshirts, long-sleeve rayon-blend raglans, and tanks, with slogans including “Black Holes Are Out Of Sight”, “Bone Jour” (alongside a cast of skellies), “Can't Tut This” (dancing pharaohs “kept under wraps since 1323 BC”), and, on a cross, “Me So Holy” (so, Jesus will love you long time?).

More confrontational are Dumb and Ugly (“Too dumb for New York, too ugly for L.A.”), Bite Me (with an Ozzy-honoring bat), American Dirtbag with a drooling wolf, and "F**k Off" in the font of Metallica, still riding the lightning even now that everyone wants to Kill 'Em All.

As a gift for your girlfriend who owns a cat but in a super-cool way you totally respect, they've got feline-wear from an eye-patched kitten 'n crossbones, to a sunglasses-wearing Siamese framed by the phrase “Cattitude... Deal With It” -- wear it yourself, and you'll be one inglourious basterd.