This slideshow is fromThrillist Austin
This will be your new "nightlife"
It's 530a. You're late to work.
Wayne Mueller, third-generation pitmaster. Ready to bust your juicy hindquarters.
Tony graduated from Apprentice to Associate Pitmaster. His skills will Trump yours in every way.
Chris moved all the way from Colorado to hold up that brisket
You should probably quit now
You'll chop up 20yr-old oak all day. If you're afraid of splinters, make like a tree.
The fire needs tending every 15min, so don't expect any smoke breaks
This thing is largely ceremonial. You'll learn how to judge temp based on gut feeling, OR YOU WILL DIE.
You'll become a seasoned veteran
No gutting, no glory
Each one of these requires 15hrs of attention; you'll just be expected to chip in, until you know wtf you're doing
This is really advanced stuff. Until you stop being polite and start getting real, you'll mostly be assisting and observing.
It's entirely possible that karate is involved in the making of Mueller sausage
It's actually much harder than putting on a condom, but causes less sadness
Here, even choking the sausage requires you to prove yourself
That is a broomstick, taking links off the fire. You can probably handle this your first week. Or maybe your second.
11a. You're already exhausted, but there's still more because...
...to get real wide. All those dots represent your customers' hometowns; Mueller's at 90 countries and counting.
Raising the flag means they're open for business, so get ready for...
Would you dare disappoint this nice old man?
You'll be slicing his meat...
...but not until after you ask him the all-important question
The closest you'll get to being extra thin
Not surprisingly, they don't include any actual fruit
Means you've done your job well
Maybe someone else will hire you? Do you have an engineering background?