Even a pirate gets sick of rum. Thankfully, this treasure map will lead to Mile High's finest margaritas.

The Orange Habanero Margarita at Blue Bonnet

"X" may mark the spot, but this Kah Tequila silver drink hits it.

And while you're there, might as well fuel up for the journey with Blue Bonnet's gut-busting rations before setting course due north for the next marg!

Larimer St's Tamayo has walls as beautifully colored as a trusty parrot, which, by the way, you tend to lose track of when hunting down tasty margs.

The Prickly Pear Margarita at Tamayo

Drinking delicious, cactus fruit-infused tequila from the desert almost makes you want to become a landlubber.

Strangely, this map actually seems to make more sense after every drink downed. Northward!

Ah, Rio Grande, colored bright as a trusty parrot's plumage! Where is that bird, by the way? Whatever, more margs.

Not sure what's more impressive: this beautiful, ice-cold pour, or the fact that this guy still has a non-hook hand.

The Big Tex Margarita at Rio Grande

Herradura Silver, fresh citrus, orange liqueur, and lime: goodbye scurvy, hello delicioussss!

Three margs down and it's north again to the the Highland's Lola. This is about the time when you start desperately looking for shivers to timber... or something.

A blade that chops jalapenos, lime, and cilantro is a fine blade indeed.

The Fuego Verde at Lola

Corazon Tequila Blanco, muddled jalapenos, agave, and lime -- and you thought balancing on two peg legs was difficult sober!

Ah, the uncharted northern waters of Boulder, where Pearl Street's Aji greets a tired buccaneer with Scorpion Mezcal and fruit the color of a much-loved parrot, who's hopefully OK and not going to show up half-dead.

The Sabio de Oaxaca at Aji

Mezcal, grapefruit, sage tincture, and tonic. Not technically treasure, but after five margs, you'll at least be fixated on finding a large chest.

Oh, damn.