thrillist

Check out the reflection of that tomato on the knife! Now stop, because it's dangerous to be distracted while you're chopping vegetables.

Can't make brunch without breaking a few eggs.

Mix in some milk and whisk. See, you do make a great fluffer.

Add your shallots to a pan of sizzling butter. Then add sizzling butter to everything around you, 'cause it's delicious.

Add tomatoes and quickly cook.

Pour in eggs. Be sure Mom isn't pouring whiskey in to anything else. Go back to eggs.

Add lobster and give a good scramble.

Look out, it's a CHIVEALANCHE!!!

Salt and pepper to Mom's taste, somehow without adding any Clooney.

Top off with a few more chives and garnish with toast.

If you really love Mom, get your Varsity on by adding a dollop of creme fraiche, and/or serving it in an ostrich egg as seen here. Just follow the printable recipe, and at least your mother will no longer be hiding her head in the ground whenever you cook.