Girl Talk, Vol. 2

Sarah Walker wants to get you laid. As thanks, visit her website at SarahWWalker.com

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Travolta Assaults Male Masseuse(s), Maybe

Sarah says: "This is a good news item to talk about with your date, not because girls like talking about sexual harassment, but we do LOVE to speculate on what male celebrities are gay. Your date most likely knows someone who knows someone who knows Clooney or Cruise's boyfriend. You should note how sad it is that actors feel like they have to hide their sexuality to maintain their career, and the collateral damage is that our nation's male masseurs get sexually harassed by multi-millionaire Scientologists."
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Pippa Moving to NY?

Sarah Says: "Girls love Kate Middleton. Well, they are insanely jealous of Kate, but it's less wishing harm upon her than wanting to Freaky Friday her. Or Vice Versa her. Whatever body switching movie reference floats your boat. PIPPA though. All the pent up jealousy girls have towards Kate is taken out on Pippa. So Pippa moving to New York? NO THANKS! She should be kept at a safe distance. It's like, your stupid friend waves one gun at the paparazzi and all of a sudden you have the street cred to move to NYC?? Talk about how she's not THAT pretty and how we (Americans) already have, like, seven butt icons. Also, COOL NAME, PIPPA. Loser."
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Man Changes Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex "Because It's Cooler"

Sarah says: "Heck yeah, Tyrannosaurus Rex is a cooler name than Tyler Gold. That's just scientific fact. "T Rex" if you're nasty. Applaud this dude's go get 'em attitude, but assure your date that you would never do such a thing. Just don't tell her the reason for that is because someone thought of the idea before you did. And tell her she should change her name to "Angel."...wait, you believed me? Dude. Come ON."
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Maurice Sendak Dies, His Wild Things Live On

Sarah says: "Who didn't love Maurice Sendak? We grew up with his books, but after seeing recent interviews with him, most notably on Colbert, it turns out he was the type of hilarious, ironic, sort of grumpy grandfather you always wanted. Hey, maybe your grandfather was like that. Except he wasn't. You can really go anywhere with this, as long as you don't wear your "Where the Wild Things Are" t-shirt you bought at Urban."
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Mila Kunis Saves Old Dude's Life, Is Still Hot

Sarah Says: "Mila Kunis: Dark Horse Cool Chick. She's been That 70's Show-ing and Family Guy voice-ing forever, but she breaks up with Macaulay Culkin after 8 years (Whaaaaaat? Talk about THAT), has a lady sex scene with Portman in Black Swan (DON'T talk about that) and emerges from her shell. Now she may or may not be boning Ashton Kutcher (debate if that's an upgrade from Culkin) and she's saving people's lives. Just don't call her a hero. Your date is clearly the hero."
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