Girl Talk With Sarah Walker, Vol. 7

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Jennifer Aniston Marrying Whoever This Justin Theroux Dude Is

Sarah says: "Your date is a girl. Which means she's a fan of Aniston (Faniston? Don't say that.). So that's great news on both fronts. Now, I'm not saying you HAVE to do this, but you MIGHT want to order two glasses of the second-cheapest Champagne and make a toast to them. This makes you look funny and sort of weird, which can be a good thing. And if she doesn't think so, at least you got more booze."
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Top Gun Director Tony Scott Jumps Off Bridge

Sarah says: "This sucks. But it means it's time to talk about what a brilliant filmmaker Tony Scott was. Unless she's 90, your date has seen Top Gun, so ask her what her favorite scene is. It's probably the "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" one, but if she says it's the beach volleyball one, double check to make sure that you're not on actually a date with a gay man. And he did True Romance! Remember how Cousin Balki was in True Romance and talked like a normal person? Nothing more unsettling than that."
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Sadly, Honey Boo Boo Child Must Be Discussed

Sarah says: "Your date almost definitely knows of this show, even if she hasn't seen it. Does she think reality shows are the lowest form of entertainment or is she totally into them? Would she be in one? Has she auditioned for The Real World? Does she slam liters of Go Go Juice before dates?"
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Hit Song About Snacks of the Week: Hot Cheetos and Takis

Sarah says: "Holy cow, this is frickin' adorable. Much like it sounds, it's a music video with kids rapping (extremely well) about their love of Hot Cheetos and Takis (some weird chip brand). The chorus is "Snacks! Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!" I wouldn't recommend showing this on your date, since nobody wants to look at a tiny phone in a crowded bar for five minutes. But send it in an email the next day, telling her that you had a great time, and then be all, "by the way, here are some adorable kids rapping about snacks." NAILED IT, BRO."
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Nicki Minaj to Class Up American Idol

Sarah says: "Nicki Minaj is going to be a judge on American Idol, presumably for the skintight jumpsuit and rainbow-wig portion of the competition. Finally! Apparently Mariah is a little annoyed at this development. Questions for your date: Is Nicki Minaj a space weirdo or eccentric genius? Does she agree that starships are meant to fly, or should they actually just sit motionless in starship hangars somewhere? Did she see Glitter? Is Mariah's best song 'Always Be My Baby'? Actually, that's not a question."
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Girl Talk With Sarah Walker, Vol. 3 ▶