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Thrillist NationFact: every woman George Clooney has slept with since 2001 has worn either Ritratti lingerie or Juicy Couture. Get it here
Any company that lists this product under "Gift Ideas" really does know women, and probably doesn't know you. Get it here
Lingerie Addict's 2011 "Best Budget Brand" famously designed the cleavage-rocketing Erin Brockovich bra, and once caused Rod Stewart to go on a psychotic rant. Get it here
Tell me again how much you hate small dogs. Get it here
Curvy's intimates are built for D- to K-cups, or, the opposite of single-servings. Get it here
Like BMW, they only make one thing: Italian thigh-highs, which "unlike grandma's pantyhose...are very comfortable, fitted, sanitary, playful, and obviously very sexy." So add "your pantyhose are unsanitary" to the list of horrible things your grandfather says to your grandmother. Get it here
Purrfect describes their brand as "cruelty-free", so we can assume no Eddie Van Halens were hurt in the making of this naughty movie that their gear appeared in. Get it here
Sadly, Toad Lillie's founder has decided to give up the business. Remaining stock's going fast. If you can find anything, consider it a collector's item, like an ultra-rare "Han Solo in Trench Coat" action figure that will actually save you from being lonely and pathetic. Get it here
The Victoria's Secret of Japan doesn't make it easy, offering int'l shipping, but no English website. So yeah this one's mainly included because you don't need a translator to slobber. Enjoy. Get it here
Fashion types describe this Netherlands visionary's "Cool Scandinavia" collection as "Viking chic", though it's not quite up to Visanthe Shiancoe levels of body exposure. Get it here
In their quest to create "underwear for laterally challenged, flat-bottomed women", Eberjey introduced boy shorts to the market back in '96, the last year anybody could even conceive of seeing boy shorts on actual boys. Get it here
"I'm taking a wee small break from paddling bottoms to tell you that Ophelia Fancy specializes in handmade tassels and pasties." For more images of what apparently goes on in Brighton, check out Shoots to Kill Photography. Get it here.
Fleur't has a little more of that girl-next-door thing going on, clearly taking after its founder, who once played keyboard in a rock band, just like every girl you've ever lived next-door to. Get it here
Pink Lipstick is specifically designed for "24/7 party people". This particular piece showcases their collection's versatility, a quality Steve Coogan prizes above everything. He also very much enjoyed this video. Get it here
Technically this is all-day shapewear and not lingerie. When you give it to her, just pretend you didn't know that. Get it here
"Whether you're headed for a weekend in St. Barth's or dinner at Nobu, underneath it all OnGossamer makes you feel luxurious, sensual and hip." Hopefully if you take your girlfriend to St. Barth's she'll also feel luxurious, sensual and hip overneath it all. Get it here
The winsome heavyweight just released Lingerie & Desire, an illustrated tome chronicling its nearly 60-year history. It's published by Rizzoli, whose motto is "Making it okay for guys to own erotic photography since 1927". Get it here
Natori's Manila-born founder starred at Merrill before a Filipino blouse inspired a line whose East-meets-West aesthetic is actually more pronounced in these robes, but hey, those are bras. Get it here
Their Italian-made stuff's so potent they caused some dude in Islamabad to post this poem: bras worth diamonds, panties gold, lingerie secrets, cosabella unveils, unfolds/cosabella mare, an exuberant catwalk, the seducing brassiere, a towntalk/cosabella bikinis, a hottest sold, cosabella girls, daring and bold/hooks, adjusters, cups, straps, band, cosabella amore, delightful in sand/cosabella bras, an amusing heartbeat, cosabella panties, the real treat/that's it Get it here
Blush's founder started out in Quebec, moved to Miami, then moved back to Quebec. Basically, he's what Canadians hope will happen with hockey. Get it here
This Scottish-born designer has under-dressed everyone from Christina Hendricks to Oprah, who's apparently putting the "sexy" back in "When Your Own Mother Is a Notorious Killer". Get it here
This vertically integrated company is produced entirely in East LA, like American Apparel, but with better-looking models whose boss isn't being sued for telling them to take off their lingerie. Get it here
When the dead rise, and Milla Jovovich isn't available, this Soho atelier's models will be your femme-olition squad. Get it here
Just FYI: LASCIVIOUS las·civ·i·ous (luh-siv-ee-uhs) ADJECTIVE: Given to or expressing lust; lecherous. Exciting sexual desires; salacious. Get it here
Helena Stuart has been making "inner outerwear" for over three decades. Her daughter also joined the company after working as a pastry chef, which just goes to show that you can have your buns and still show your buns. Get it here
This newcomer started as a series of pop-up shops. They also produce pretty hot pop-up videos. Get it here
The brand Frank Drebin longed for e-distributes through California, so the difficulty of ordering will not be mucho. Get it here
You probably already know about these guys, but did you also know that they shot an 11-part erotic Victorian fantasy with Mónica Cruz -- who acted as her sister's body double in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides after Penélope got prégnant? Get it here
Whether you like role-play, or are actually dating a policewoman whose last name is "Naughty" and who hasn't made detective yet, buy from the shop that created Pam Anderson's Barb Wire look and Madonna's look for a casual Tuesday. Get it here
"Barely covering girls since 1994", the micro-bikini specialists also make knickers in fabrics like "Horny Rose". It took 30 minutes to find an SFW photo on their site. Get it here
Gossip Girl fans will recognize Pretty Polly's "Fashion Tights" from the pair Blair wore in that episode where she tried to be human but thought she was being taken advantage of and turned bitchy again. Degenerate gamblers will appreciate that the venerable brand was named for a legendary racehorse. Jessie J fans will recognized Jessie J. Get it here
You don't actually have to be important to shop their VIP collection, but you do have to be some kind of something to offer your opinion to their Cleavagely Correct survey. Get it here
This sprawling enterprise commenced operations a century ago in a barn in southwest Germany, under the somewhat less sexy name Spiesshofer & Braun. Get it here
These affordable purveyors of '40s-inspired styles were featured in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, so after giving this to your girlfriend definitely don't deny her trust-fund access. Get it here
Coming out of an old Garment District family, DEIN's 100% silk nightwear pulls on influences like art deco and 1930s Shanghai. Hilariously, even as you purchase it, 2013 Shanghai will be purchasing you. Get it here
Hanky Panky uses 30 yards of thread for each of the signature thongs they've been making since 1977. They also once had a party where a giant cat attacked Jaime King. Get it here
Beginning in '66, Janet Reger helped start a fashion revolution that moved undergarments away from drab functionality and towards designs that made men more...functional. Get it here
You'll be singing in the produce aisle as you attempt to align your gf's tatas with Fred & Ginger's Men's Buying Guide, whose "Fruit Test" runs from plums to honeydew melons. Get it here
Brit actress Sadie Frost and designer Jemima French are now proud moms with eight kids between them, proving that the line between "floozie" and "Catholic" is a thin one. Get it here
Naked Princess uses French and Italian materials in lingerie that critics praise for putting chicness over titillation (read: they don't use a lot of red). Get it here
Known for high-fashion pieces girls can wear under anything, Leigh designed her own flagship in Atlantic City's Revel casino. She also kinda knows Kate Upton. Get it here
CC's 100% Boot-made; when you buy it, you also buy "a dream, a little piece of Italy". It's pricey, so hopefully that piece is beachfront. Get it here
This Brit newcomer makes "designer lingerie for the smaller busted woman". The name's inspired by a Grimm fairy tale that didn't end tragically, i.e., being relegated to Friday-night network TV. Get it here
The Lone Star burlesquers offer a super affordable Lingerie of the Month club, and'll hash out sizing details with you over email. Remember: there's nothing weird about tape-measuring women in their sleep. Get it here
This product is definitely not called the Bump-a-Booty. Okay, fine, it is. Get it here if you're absolutely crazy
If you have no idea what's going on here, this video won't help. Get it here
"We’d like to dedicate this collection to Neil Armstrong, may he rest in peace." Get it here
Lola's Harvard English grad founder named her company after the titular character in Lolita. Does this model seem a little old to you? Get it here
Somewhere between anger and invitation, lies Fortnight. Get it here
Say hello to your UK Lingerie Awards "Most Innovative Brand" winner. Get it here.
You probably know these guys already. But did you know they had a designer collection? Get it here
Still can't decide? That's probably because you just looked at 51 different options, which is a lot. So, get her a gift certificate to this much-ballyhooed newcomer, who employs the all-powerful algorithm to help your girl measure her perfect bra size through a Fit Quiz, then creates a personalized e-shop for her. That means she doesn't have to come in for a measurement, or even measure herself, then lie about the results like some people. Get it here; call 1-888-968-TRUE to arrange for a gift card
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