Between the shoulder touching and the penis grazing, having a tailor fit you for a suit is awkward enough without having him come into your house to feel you up in front of stern-faced pictures of your father. Now offering neutral territory: 12 Threads.

For five years, Threads has been designing/tailoring affordable custom suits on a house call basis only, but has just now opened a small Pasadena storefront, a quick drive that'll save you from the awkwardness of "do you want anything to drink? I've got water". Upon arrival, they'll take 25+ measurements, then ask questions about what you're looking for, including fit, number of pockets, and whether your duds are for business, pleasure, or "bizplez", a look that teeters perilously between "fun!" and "fired?". Options are endless: thousands of swatches (cashmere/linen/wool/etc) from the same textiles used by companies like Dior and Versace; customizable choices for blazers (the two-breasted "JFK", the notch-collared "clean look", etc) and shirts (the pocket-less "Milano", the straight-collared "Paris), which you can preview via 12's detailed sketches; even one-of-a-kind vintage cufflinks, including embossed seahorses, couples in love, and a unicycle, which if it were a bumper sticker would read "my other suit includes a squirting flower".

If you are looking to entertain strangers, 12'll still travel to suit customers anywhere in LA County -- in case you've hit a dry spell, and that sweet p-graze is the only thing that makes you feel alive.

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