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Thrillist Philadelphia

Don't Even Reply

When you're negotiating goods and services online, the smart move is to be pleasant and accommodating, in order to increase the odds of selling those ultra-valuable collector's Olivia Newton-John 8-Tracks. Or is it? Definitely not, if you run into the guy behind DontEvenReply.

A collection of hilarious online volleys, DER's regularly updated with bizarre exchanges between posters of Philly-based 'net classifieds and a PSU student who lures his cybermarks with faux sincerity before baiting-and-switching to punish their audacity to try and sell a truck. Prime examples: an innocent animal-loving work seeker's met with a promising job outdoors, before learning "As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm", then getting procedural tips like, "Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting". Then there's Marty, who's selling his old fridge and for a small fee'll deliver, until he discovers DER's on the 67th floor of a building with a low-weight limit elevator; when he balks, DER corrects him with: "Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office."

DER's also got the balls to list his own email address on a contact page -- a risky move, considering the possibility that an irate burn-ee could track him down, provided they have the strength to Get Physical and climb 65 flights of stairs.

ExhortAdd this to My Thrillist

ExhortYou'll never regard Craigslist quite the same once you revel in the full glory and absurd hilarity at DontEvenReply.com

Don't Even Reply (Emailed on July 16, 2009)

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