After a grand family house passes through enough generations, it's typically either torn down to make way for a Friday's, or designated a stop on a trolley tour whose participants are deeply disappointed not to be served Parmesan-Crusted Sicilian Quesedillas. Meeting an awesomer fate, Lippincott House.

Constructed in 1897, this 9,000 sq ft mansion was originally a wedding gift for publisher J.B. Lippincott's granddaughter, but after a century is throwing open its doors as a rentable venue for everything from dinner affairs, to bachelor/billiard parties, to the cultured tasting of scotch, to the uncultured tasting of scotch. The layout includes a Brazilian-rosewood clad lounge with a 19th-century grand piano and a hand-carved mahogany fireplace; a banquet hall with wraparound fresco and mammoth antique dining table; a games room boasting a dartboard and an antique Brunswick Billiards table; a media room with theater-style seating; and a grand staircase lined with oil paintings of pleasantly plump nude ladies -- saving you money on strippers! The house offers custom event planning, and can accommodate seated dinners for a recommended 16-50 guests and parties for up to 100; their seasonal four-course menus (from poached Maine lobster to steak) were designed by B*Smiths, the newest venture from Smith restaurant's exec chef, who's cooked for Prince Charles, Elton John, Oprah, and even the UN -- for second helpings, just bang your shoe on the table.

For out-of-towners, Lippincott also operates a B&B: four classically luxe suites outfitted with a fireplace, wi-fi, and satellite TV -- so you can enjoy an HD Guy Fieri to come to the Bourse for some Sesame Jack Chicken Strips.

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Recreate Eddie's house party in Trading Places ("It was a stone groove, my man") and plan it out at BSmithsCatering.com