While every guy brags about his BBQ skills, the pressures of feeding a big group can leave him without enough time to properly finesse the complexity of flavors Hebrew National originally intended. Admit defeat, and get professional slow-cooked, smoked artistry right to you, from Rubb Mobile BBQ.

Mobile's a massive 75sqft smoker outfitted with 15 rotating racks and interchangeable wood boxes on a 16' trailer that owner/chef Matthew Levin and crew'll set up anywhere in the Philly area, serving expertly spiced & smoked meat at your tailgating parties, charity events, and private affairs, and also announcing public-event location details via Twitter, where their following's probably enlarged by hopeful searches for "smoking meat". On the pork side, whole shoulders're trimmed and treated with a base dry rub before being smoked over hickory or mesquite at low temps for 12-24+ hours, then pulled apart and bathed in a Carolina-style apple cider vinegar & mustard sauce; pork loins go through a similar process; pork bellies're treated to cherry or orange wood smoke; and homemade sausage gets into the mix, along with kielbasa -- so there's no way W can say "He Forgot Poland!". Beef brisket's smoked overnight to let the dry rub seep in before it's basted in chocolate chipotle sauce, while beef short ribs get topped w/ a cherry & Guinness-based sauce and Italian long hots for more kick; mesquite/hickory/orange smoked chicken's dressed either with a black pepper & caramel mix or a banana-based jerk sauce brimming with fresh thyme, onion & soy sauce, while leg of lamb gets a hot pepper & Coca-Cola sauce, producing a can't-miss breakthrough product named Chew Coke.

The Mobile smoker's hittin' up K Lot this Sunday, dishing out free 'cue for the tailgating faithful, who'll watch their beloved, sputtering Birds muster up an effort that couldn't even contend for the Hebrew National Football League title.

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Keep track of the pig rig's journeys and pit stops at Twitter.com