It's obvious that your cable box knows everything about what you're watching, but what you didn't know is that your cable box thinks it knows everything about you. And it won't shut up about it. See just how wildly familiar it gets, at WTF Comcast.

Just launched on tumblr, WTF posts snapshots of annoyingly chummy movie/TV show synopses from Philly baby Comcast's program guide, which seem penned by the guy who only got a bid because his big brother was rush chair, and he's really a damn tool. Some gems:

Killer Klowns: "Your friends with a deep-seated fear of clowns are so right. Bloodthirsty aliens looking like circus clowns come to town and start feeding. No word yet on whether their space ship resembles a really tiny car."

House of the Dead: "Bro, check it out -- Seriously huge rave on Zombie Island tonight! Seriously! A bunch of us are going over there. Why do they call it "Zombie Island?" Dunno. Think we should ask?"

Dagmar's Hot Pants: "She's a hooker, he's a med student. She put him through school, but now he's graduating and wants to make an honest woman out of her. Time for a "closing down" sale at the brothel and one last hurrah for the regulars. And remember, it's all legal in Denmark."

WTF captions all their synopses, ranging from biting commentary to highlighting ridiculous lines; not ones to hog all the fun, WTF openly accepts submissions -- but if they knew you as well as your cable box, they wouldn't.

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Check out the cable-centric comedy at WTFComcast.tumblr.com