thrillist

Home to a fried-dough doctor whose creativity has led to Portland's first and only donut cart, downtown’s Donutorama lets aficionados score straight-ahead fritters, glazed raiseds, and cake-nuts galore, or let their freak flag fly with jacked-up creations that may include caffeine or bacon, and would immediately be made by Paula Deen into a hamburger that totally won't give you diabetes. Eat these and prove you're a man... who'll eat anything:

Banana Bacon Bar: Rama tops this sucker with banana frosting, generous chunks of apple-smoked bacon, and an additional pinch of salt, which you can order in a doubled "Atomic" size, because it'll make you blow up, yo! Boom! Like the kids say!

Energy Donut: Rama's hand-cranked/ deep-fried cake job is oomphed-up with a bright, thick frosting made of Viso energy drink, plus an optional 60mg sprinkling of powdered caffeine, which is about as much as an espresso, or what most kids under 14 call “not enough caffeine to make me say ‘boom!’ about.”

Creme Brulee: This Boston Cremer’s glazed before being topped with more sugar (natch), which is torched upon order to create a glistening candied shell that deftly mimics the famous dessert, but shouldn't be consumed immediately due to dangerous "molten caramel", also the very thing coursing through Paula Deen’s veins at this very moment.

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A trip to Donutorama.com could very well raise your blood sugar, but it's totally worth it to learn about how you can finally have pork rinds for breakfast