Celebrity rental services are either insultingly extravagant ($250,000 for dinner with Leonardo DiCaprio) or worthlessly attainable ($5 for a video greeting card from Mr. Belding). Strike the balance between affordability and star appeal, with RentRodman.com.

Started by a River North nightlife promoter with close ties to the ex-Bull, RR offers you a grab-bag of services from the actual Dennis Rodman, at prices so reasonable, Dennis Rodman could afford them. Naturally, it all starts with hoops: though Rodman wasn't known for his scoring touch, he'll still have plenty of wisdom to confer upon you during something as simple as a game of H-O-R-S-E (only $100 -- for the C-H-E-A-P, games of P-I-G are a mere $70). For the ultimate bromance The Worm will squire you around town via Harley, stopping at his favorite spots and offering advice on everything from dye-jobs to tattoo design, keeping in mind your interests and the fierceness of your physique -- because while a sunbursting fertility symbol might look great ringing the belly button of an ex-power forward, on you it will get stretched out to the size of the hoop.

RR's most valuable service is the one-hour dating consultation, where Rodman'll regale you and your crew with stories about bedding various celebrities from Madonna to Carmen Electra. By the time he gets to his bawdy tale of watching Titanic with Jerry Krause, your hour'll be up, and you'll be saved by the bell.

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