What is it about bike messengers that makes the ladies swoon -- is it the tattoos, the nihilistic attitude, or just their charming demeanor when fighting your dad at a stoplight? Yes, yes, and of course, but it's also...the shoes! Emulate those reeking poon hogs, in Chrome.

Dropping right now, local messenger bag purveyor Chrome's first foray into the footwear world's a sweet line o' casually classy kicks, built messenger-tough with materials that sadly cause their bags to outlast the dudes who wear them. Construction-wise, each style features a stiffened sole for bike performance, reflective accents, reinforced exterior paneling, sleek metal eyelets and lace-ends, and "heel slam pads", in an attempt to snag the lucrative Onyx sponsorship. Styles range from the Kursks (black, rubber-toed, converse-like Cordura low tops), to the clean Arhems (minimal, ankle-high suede numbers reminiscent of Chukka boots), to the grey corduroy Saipan high-tops that lace up snug, but also zip down the side, in case you never learned to tie your shoes, LMFAO, loser!

Cop a pair online before the end of August and Chrome'll ship 'em free and throw in a free ltd edition, stainless steel water bottle -- give the bottle to your dad, so he's got at least a little protection from u-locks at stop lights.

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Grab all the styles at ChromeBagsStore.com