Life in the digital age means bidding regular farewells to the obsolete trappings of cruder times, like your VHS collection, and condoms. Now, say goodbye to mail, with Earth Class Mail.

Launched in the cyber hub of Beaverton, OR, and now in SF, ECM's a cheap, staggeringly labor-intensive service that collects your mail and scans it for you to view online, thereby ruining the relationship between you and your mailman that your mailman tried so hard to avoid. Start by submitting ECM's address as yours to friends, banks, pen-pals, etc, and as envelopes and packages come in, ECM sends you a scan of each one's exterior along with an estimate for weight and # of pages contained, though they're not yet capable of guesstimating the # of amazing bargains in L.L. Bean's Xmas catalog. Next, with one click, you'll have them recycle, fwd to another recipient, or send said missive to you without opening; hit "scan" yet again, and ECM'll open it for you and send along pdfs of the contents, ensuring your poor fridge'll never again have to announce "We're Engaged!".

ECM's also recently added a check deposit feature (for Wells Fargo, with more banks coming), which has you fill out a deposit slip online and transfers funds for you -- sounds risky, but in the digital age, the first step is to remove the condom that protects your identity.

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