In this text-happy world, voicemail's all but obsolete...do you hear that mom? But yes, please send money. Hooking you up with a greeting so awesome it'll be worth deleting people's messages just to know they heard it: Dave Bollick Communications.
A full-service, voice-mail voice-over specialist, Bollick's an Oak-town vocalist and freelance ad copywriter whose been featured in hundreds of broadcast commercials and videos, from a Sonic the Hedgehog TV spot, to a Cleo-award-winning Got Milk radio promo, to all of the TRX Navy Seal DVD's, meaning his beautiful pipes have helped others sculpt their own beautiful pipes (and/or quads, glutes, and the full range of abdominals!).
For $50, he'll put his trailer-quality chops to work on your message-copy, with any number of optional inflections, like:
* American Gladiator: gruff and deep, perfect for intimidating competitors and bonding with Laser
* Guy Next Door: soft and casual enough to win her trust, even though you really live over three blocks away
* Dramatic Male Lead: handsome and brooding, while still keeping things somewhat (Twi)light
For $100+, he'll also put pen to paper, writing your custom greeting for you, and promising to capture pretty much whatever you want, with past humorousness like:
*Recently Divorced: Hi, this is Dennis. Judy doesn't live here anymore. Don't bother leaving a message 'cause she took the phone. Have a nice day.
*Solicitor Proof: You've reached Jake's Tattoo [buzzing sound and screams in the background]. We're busy with clients right now...
If you're impressed, Dave'll also work out a pricing plan to hook up your whole company -- even if the first three digits of your only other co-worker are M-O-M.