If you're anything like super celebrity sex maven Ed Begley Jr, you likely don't need Grouper. But the other 99.9% of the population who aren't jacked, ginger-haired environmentalist sex studs might benefit from the group dating site (just now taking applications in LA) founded by some people who, when asked at parties, say they went to "a small college in New Haven, CT that rhymes with Schmale. And is called Yale. Yale University".
It works like this: sign up, and they'll vet you by studying your Facebook profile, and asking you simple questions, presumably along the lines of, "Did you purposely say you like Tucker Max books on your profile, or are you hopefully just being hilariously ironic?". After you're in, their matchmaking pros will analyze the hell out of your now-Tucker-Max-reference-free profile, photos, etc., and pair you with someone around your age who shares similar interests. But here's where things get interesting: instead of you two rolling solo on a date and weirdly laughing even when neither of you is making jokes, you're each asked to bring a couple of wingpersons to create a three-guy/three-girl hang that'll be reliably less awkward because "you can either talk in three pairs of two, just with your friends, or as a group".
Once you've both found friends to roll with, everyone gives Grouper $20 and they secure you a reservation at a partnering, actually cool bar, then pick up the tab (tax and tip too) on everyone's first drink -- which wouldn't be necessary if you were with Eddy Begs, as that dude hasn't had to pay for a drink since he killed in Santa with Muscles.
Published: September 17, 2012 at 4:00am EDT
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